A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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