i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
