I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
