She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
