I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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