Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
