Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
