Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
