Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
