Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
