Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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