YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
im holly from the hills drunk
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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