Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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