Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
either way he was missing a nipple.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
