Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me

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  (404): i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me http://tfl.nu/gwgk
  Replies (8) Good night (920) Bad night (2398)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I thought spray tan was a myth

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  ?

  (206): View more from Washington

  You know, something that only happens in Jersey

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  (206): I thought spray tan was a myth (1-206): ? (206): You know, something that only happens in Jersey http://tfl.nu/gplq
  Replies (48) Good night (2803) Bad night (743)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.

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  (803): it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye. http://tfl.nu/rr5f
  Replies (53) Good night (2766) Bad night (4510)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.

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  (605): We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink. http://tfl.nu/ugbw
  Replies (60) Good night (14168) Bad night (1089)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case

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  (206): I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case http://tfl.nu/pt7p
  Replies (20) Good night (3079) Bad night (1343)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex

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  (317): i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex http://tfl.nu/eh60
  Replies (16) Good night (5746) Bad night (1117)
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  (+54): View more from

  look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.

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  (+54): look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels. http://tfl.nu/ux1z
  Replies (11) Good night (7386) Bad night (1076)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.

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  (908): was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone. http://tfl.nu/nbte
  Replies (12) Good night (1287) Bad night (4153)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.

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  (904): Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel. http://tfl.nu/cy7e
  Replies (18) Good night (1354) Bad night (672)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.

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  (254): Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst. http://tfl.nu/n2od
  Replies (9) Good night (1146) Bad night (842)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.

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  (973): My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late. http://tfl.nu/h56e
  Replies (3) Good night (1164) Bad night (396)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.

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  (202): He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight. http://tfl.nu/npw7
  Replies (14) Good night (600) Bad night (873)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"

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  (305): I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me" http://tfl.nu/ic9y
  Replies (0) Good night (594) Bad night (323)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.

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  (216): Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home. http://tfl.nu/lgr9
  Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (363)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?

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  (443): His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today? http://tfl.nu/xejp
  Replies (1) Good night (490) Bad night (152)

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