Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.

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(832): I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store. http://tfl.nu/hql1

Replies (14) Good night (1424) Bad night (586)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.

(404): View more from Georgia

Who isn't?

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(770): Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims. (404): Who isn't? http://tfl.nu/hgp5

Replies (27) Good night (2872) Bad night (869)
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(917): View more from New York City

you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night

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(917): you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night http://tfl.nu/accx

Replies (8) Good night (1245) Bad night (6698)
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(541): View more from Oregon

No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.

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(541): No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed. http://tfl.nu/54wn

Replies (64) Good night (7854) Bad night (1140)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

maybe i'll see you again later :)

(774): View more from Massachusetts

I'd rather shit a knife.

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(612): maybe i'll see you again later :) (774): I'd rather shit a knife. http://tfl.nu/qge0

Replies (50) Good night (1979) Bad night (11104)
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(219): View more from Indiana

rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them

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(219): rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them http://tfl.nu/zf3d

Replies (209) Good night (63263) Bad night (2643)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...

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(519): I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling... http://tfl.nu/p0v8

Replies (15) Good night (5919) Bad night (1053)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.

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(615): I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line. http://tfl.nu/o0b8

Replies (5) Good night (4328) Bad night (1464)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.

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(201): Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable. http://tfl.nu/oy8s

Replies (27) Good night (5458) Bad night (956)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

Do they take checks?

(1-606): View more from Kentucky

Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?

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(606): Do they take checks? (1-606): Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL? http://tfl.nu/lvo7

Replies (18) Good night (5101) Bad night (1760)
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(256): View more from Alabama

FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.

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(256): FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation. http://tfl.nu/7b12

Replies (28) Good night (1440) Bad night (7579)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.

(604): View more from British Columbia

I DIDNT GET FINGERED

(604): View more from British Columbia

I was rubbed

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(778): This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room. (604): I DIDNT GET FINGERED (604): I was rubbed http://tfl.nu/4nvv

Replies (9) Good night (2462) Bad night (676)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.

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(847): I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet. http://tfl.nu/ancz

Replies (10) Good night (4081) Bad night (748)
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(585): View more from New York

He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir

(716): View more from New York

That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people

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(585): He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir (716): That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people http://tfl.nu/6664

Replies (0) Good night (554) Bad night (316)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.

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(724): Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint. http://tfl.nu/2vjk

Replies (3) Good night (528) Bad night (233)

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