What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!