Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
