I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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