wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.