he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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