I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
