We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
