dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
