Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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