I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!