I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Randomize
