i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
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