Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.