Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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