I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
