I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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