Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
