Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
