we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Randomize
