I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he fucked my hip out of place.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
