My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm like, not good at living.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
