Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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