i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
