But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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