I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
