She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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