If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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