Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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