Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
