is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She bit a glass in half.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
