I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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