Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
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its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
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I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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