dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
