This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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