I've blown a few things in my day
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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