This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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