Your mouth is God's brothel.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Ketchup is God's man juice
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
