yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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