I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize