please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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