I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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