i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it's like heaven, but drunker
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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