People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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