You're my little dorito
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
