You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
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