Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
i think im in europe. pls send help
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize