i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
