i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
