Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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